My First Miscarriage: Part 2

To read part 1 click here.

The next morning, Sunday, I woke up and was still having stomach cramps.  I then noticed that I was starting to spot.  I did a little bit of research online and realized that I might be facing a miscarriage.  I debated staying home and resting, but eventually decided to go to church.

I was in a constant state of prayer, just begging and pleading with God to heal me and my baby, and let me go on to have a healthy 9 months of pregnancy.  As we started singing the song by Chris Tomlin, Our God (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlA5IDnpGhc) I started to weep.

The lyrics, “And if our God is with us, then what can stand against us” really touched me deeply.  In my moment of weakness, I knew that God was stronger than all of this, and he would pull me through this.

After church, I went home to nap and get some rest before heading back to church to work on set up for Vacation Bible School.  All I could think about at this point in time was, why on earth did I sign up to teach?  I kept thinking, “If I had known this was going to happen, I would have never signed up.”

It is obvious to me now that Satan was trying to attack me at my weakest moment, and he was doing a good job getting inside my head.  But God had his hold on me, and the Holy Spirit guided me to not turn away but instead continue to pray to my God.  Prayer is the only reason I survived that battle.

It was the hardest day of the week for me, because I had no idea yet if this was happening, but I felt hopeless and sure that I was losing the baby.  In my weakest moment of heartbreak, I fell to the ground and cried out to the Lord, “Please Lord, please. Please keep my baby alive. Please Lord, PLEASE!”  I was crying so hard that I could hardly breath and I was begging God to let me have this child.  It was heartbreaking for me praying, because I knew that God could save this pregnancy, but I also knew that it might not be in his will for me to have a child right now.  I knew that I had no control over what was going to happen, but I hoped that God would give me what I wanted.

After I calmed down, I pulled myself together and went to church to set up for Vacation bible school, and I focused on that task and tried not to think about what was happening with my body.

When I got home from setting up for VBS, I looked to God’s word for comfort, prayed, and then left it in God’s hands.  After praying, I felt confident that God would heal me and the baby, and I went to sleep that night feeling peaceful.

To be continued in part 3.

Blessings,

Amber

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” -Isaiah 41:10

“The Lord is my light and my salvation-whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life-of whom shall I be afraid?” -Psalm 27:1

“When you lie down, you will not be afraid; for the Lord will be your confidence” -Proverbs 3: 24,26

“Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.” -Psalm 55:22

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